closed my CMI trades on both of my swing account and IRA at a loss, and close also HOT since CMI and HOT have gone to wrong direction for 2 days in a row.
Entered DE in the IRA on the confirmed bounced at $93.50 stop at $90
Monday, December 31, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Moving on to 2008
Got a recommendation from Mr. S, it looks very good, so I entered in both of my IRA and my swing trade account.
SIGM confirmed bounced, Stop at 54, 1st target at 65, 2nd target at 73
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Closed, Closed, Closed!
The assassination of Benazir Bhutto coincides with the day that the stock market decides to pull back, that is what I think. Nothing to analysis. See the chart of Dow today as highlighted in green ovals. The Dow has been trending down and just completed a lower high.
As a result I followed a very smart man's swift action, I closed 6 out of 8 of my long stocks today, leaving CMI and RCI only open.
AAPL, nice
POT, very nice
MON, nice
NOV, OK
FSTR, OK
LKQX, nice
DRQ, lost the commission!
anyway, the lesson I have learned on this ride is: "Follow the leader, because I can't be the leader" The market is a fast moving train, we are forced to go in the same direction as it moved.
At the same time, I saw there are opportunities for some Puts:
FCX, love it, my fast moving noble steed.
stop at 107.50
1st target at 95,
2nd target at 85
HOT <--boy have I been watching you long! stop at 47 target at 40
MS
stop at 55.50
target at 47.50
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Merry Christmas!
Markkus watching the opening of the cake
3 minutes later, still the same posture
ha, ha, cake!
Merry Christmas to all of you.
Oh! Canada, keep them CuMmIng!
RCI (another Canadian company besides POT) 30 MA day break out and it looks very good.
Entry at 45.69
Stop at 42.5
CMI running toward the slip icon on the chart and broke the resistance at $125IRA
entered at $129.67, stop at $122, -$3.00 off the resistance at $125
Small account entered the 140 C at $5.40, stop at $3.00
Close the trade on Jan 2 or 3 for a split play, no target
Last and Least
AZO, 115 P at $3.40 stoop at $2.00Target at $107 if it completes the gap
Moved my stops up:
AAPL to 189
DRQ, not moved
FSTR to 48
LIFC to 43
LKQX to 19.8 (1% below the $20 break out)
MON to 104
POT to 130
NOV to 69
Monday, December 24, 2007
My Iron Condor Rules
A) using probability of expiring (15% or 10%) for lower credit and higher probability
B) TOS
C) Use technical analysis
D) Leg in
?>enter the short CALLS side when it makes a bounce up at support
?>enter the short PUTS side when it makes a bounce down at resistance
Risk Management
--> put the condor 49 days before expiration
--> adjust when the short Call is at 25 delta, Put is at 20 delta
--> close the credit spread when it is worth at 0.20
--> Achieve 75% - 80% of max profit
--> exit Monday before the expiration
--> CLOSE the trade 4 to 10 days before expiration
Butterfly?
- Looking for the calls and puts to sell at a .15 or .10 probability (or delta)
- buy the call and put one strike over
- Don't need to adjust the trade
Entry Rules>
Enter 6-8 weeks before expiration
Sell a 10-point call vertical with the delta of the short call <.10 Sell a 10-point put vertical with the delta of the short put <-.08 Enter the entire position all at once, but as two separate vertical spreads for better fills.
Exit for a profit when 70-80% of the max gain is reached. This will allow the next month’s position to be put on 6-8 weeks from expiration.
Adjustment rules: when delta of short call= .25, or delta of short put= -.21
1. close out entire spread
2. only adjust once
OR:
>15 days from expiration, adjust when index is 10-15 points from short strike, or delta of short strike=25, whichever comes first.
<15 strike="25,">whichever comes first.
B) TOS
- min 23 to 25 days (or 28 to 32 days) before expiration
- trade last 14 to 17 days
- sum of short call delta (16 to 19) and short put delta (16 to 19) = 33 and 34
- probability of success is the width minus the credit of iron condor
- check the chart, don't be a robot, twist it a little on the chart
- risk on the upside, because the calls moves quicker
- once it is on
- 1> max lost: 15% yeild of the decrease in trading power: width - credit say: getting $3 credit, on $10 width so max loss is 15% of $7.00
- 2> once down 10%, peel a couple off the bad side, down 15% peel a couple off, down 20% peel the last couple off so in average it will be 15%
- 3> take profit at 12% to 16% of the reduction in trading power
- out of the position tue or wed of the expiration week
C) Use technical analysis
D) Leg in
?>enter the short CALLS side when it makes a bounce up at support
?>enter the short PUTS side when it makes a bounce down at resistance
Risk Management
--> put the condor 49 days before expiration
--> adjust when the short Call is at 25 delta, Put is at 20 delta
--> close the credit spread when it is worth at 0.20
--> Achieve 75% - 80% of max profit
--> exit Monday before the expiration
--> CLOSE the trade 4 to 10 days before expiration
Butterfly?
Friday, December 21, 2007
Another Trend trade for the holidays
No brainer trend trade, DRQ, broke out on the 30 day MA.
stop at 55.
MARry Christmas
I am ending this year with a lost:
longed a put at the very bottom! Can't be worst than that.Among HOT, WYN and MAR, I longed puts on MAR. If you look at the charts of HOT and WYN, they are still in the poo-poo land, only MAR went up.
I should have felt like crap, but I actually feel like this:
Not bad for a guy with ego.
Merry Christmas!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Trend trades POT, MON, FSTR, LIFC and AAPL
Finally a confirmed bounce that I am looking for after being stopped out:
POT, broke higher than the low day two days ago.
Stop at $120, ~$10 less than the last strike price
MON, yes late to the trade, because I went to have massage yesterday.
stop at 97, there is no need to go any lower than that!
LIFC, entered $43.29, stop at 41
Interesting formation of the last week
bounced yesterday and confirmed on the 30 day MA breakout today.
FSTR, entered at $50.956, stop at $47
bounced yesterday and confirmed on the 30 day MA breakout today.
AAPL, morning doji star (almost, missing the gap down yesterday), can't say no to that
entered at $187.6372, stop at $178
TARGET: $223 at 161% fibo retracement
POT, broke higher than the low day two days ago.
Stop at $120, ~$10 less than the last strike price
MON, yes late to the trade, because I went to have massage yesterday.
stop at 97, there is no need to go any lower than that!
LIFC, entered $43.29, stop at 41Interesting formation of the last week
bounced yesterday and confirmed on the 30 day MA breakout today.
FSTR, entered at $50.956, stop at $47bounced yesterday and confirmed on the 30 day MA breakout today.
AAPL, morning doji star (almost, missing the gap down yesterday), can't say no to thatentered at $187.6372, stop at $178
TARGET: $223 at 161% fibo retracement
Disclaimer
- Don't trade after my recommendations, I am wrong most of the time and you will end up losing money.
- This is mostly a blog of my trading progress, so I can see my learning progress in future.
- Besides, my family is my number one priority, so I may not update my trades regularly.
My Trend Trading Rules
Entry:
Stop Loss:
Re-entry, when got stop out watch for bounce:
Position size, rule #1 is the strong rule.
- an uptrending stock bounces off support
- confirmed bounced, close higher than the high of the low day, can be hollow or filled candle, full position size
- unconfirmed bounced:
- uptrending stocks,
- low of the day falls between 33% and 66% retracement of the last upswing.
- must be a up day with hollow candle, enter on Bullish Engulfing, Bullish Piercing Line, Bullish Belt Hold.
- half position size, add the next half on the confirmed bounce (sometimes on the confirmed bounce, the risk is too high to enter the next half).
Stop Loss:
- Option 1: 2% below the trend line connecting the lows of the uptrend.
- Option 2: $0.20 below support, if it is on the dollar, move to 0.92
- if broker does not allow the stop to be placed because it is too wide, then use the maximum allowed value
- Move stop loss up weekly, never move it down, (change the stop from GTC to day on Friday then enter a new stop over the weekend.
Re-entry, when got stop out watch for bounce:
- redraw the trend line, see if you can make a confirmed trend line.
- watch for the bounce.
Position size, rule #1 is the strong rule.
- each position is approx 10% of the entire portfolio
- trade risk 1% of the portfolio
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Testing my conviction
Every trade tests my conviction. Here is my Put trade on MAR.
Hope my conviction is right.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Lucky to be Alive
There is a lady, Ms M, who is getting married in Feb 2008, in my team weight loss. Her fiancee Mr B got cancer when he was 22 years old. I believe that is related to him working at Stein Mart and exposed to a lot of unknown products. Anyway his tumor was inside his mouth/neck area and grew really big. The tumor has metastasized all the way to his lungs. Ms L's brother-in-law to be was in Medical school back then and he asked his professor about Mr. B's case. Team of experts had a meeting, out of 16 of them only 2 voted to go for an operation, which means the experts thought the chance of success is pretty low.
Mr. B was operated on, his scar was clearly visible from the left side of his jaw to side of his neck , and I was told that it went all the way down to his left thigh. Mr. B survived the operation and he is healthy and alive now. Lucky for him to know a girlfriend with connections.
Often, I lost sign of how fragile lives are. As I have more in life, I want more in live. And every luxury will be meaningless when the essentials are gone. Even the essentials are meaningless when our health is gone. Of course we one dies, there is no dream to chase.
Mr. B was operated on, his scar was clearly visible from the left side of his jaw to side of his neck , and I was told that it went all the way down to his left thigh. Mr. B survived the operation and he is healthy and alive now. Lucky for him to know a girlfriend with connections.
Often, I lost sign of how fragile lives are. As I have more in life, I want more in live. And every luxury will be meaningless when the essentials are gone. Even the essentials are meaningless when our health is gone. Of course we one dies, there is no dream to chase.
My Trading Rules
2 questions
Trading Daily Routine
1) Only look at the Profit and Loss often when emotion is contained. Else check every 2 hours, 9:00 am, 11:00 am, 1:00 pm and 1 hour before close
2) Enter trades 1 hour before close, AFTER checking the charts, look for high and low of the day compare it with the day before to see if the trend is broken
3) Don't enter a new trade on the SAME DAY after being stopped out, the original analysis must be considered, because it was taken with less emotions.
4) Monitor each position, Has it hit the target, hit the stop
5) Adjust Stop, at the end of day or intra day.
6) Move the stop up to break even point, as soon as the stock moved $2 in the right direction.
Trading Weekly Routine
1) Check the week ahead for the possible Earnings and Split plays, change of industry
2) Update Trading Journal
3) Run through the entire A-Z watch list to add stocks to Bull and Bear
Trading Monthly Routine
1) delete last month's Bull and Bear watch list
Don't trade in the vaccumn
1) what are the major indices doing
2) what are the major sectors doing
3) what are the major stocks doing
Entry Rules:
1) Candles are only important at Significant support and resistance, don't enter with just Tweezer Bottoms, or engulfing or Harami formations.
2) In line with the market posture, industry, and stock trend
3) NEVER pick the bottom or top, wait for confirmation, use price and volume (as a reference, remember price is king, and the ONLY THING PAYS is PRICE!)
4) If the overall Market Trend is strong, enter intra day, if the overall Market is not strong, need end of day confirmation.
5) look for entries especially when the price retrace to 61.6% (23% in a strong up trend) Fibo, i.e. 38% from the top of last up swing when draw from high to low (see the POT in Dec '07 below)
6) if the stop is too far, you are risking too much, don't enter the trade, wait for a better trade.
7) Ask self: No Fear, No Doubt -or- Overtrade!
Exit Rule:
1) got stop out
2) Sign of Weakness rule
Note:
1) Fibo supports only works in uptrend
1.1) Fibo for confirmations only, not the trade signals
1.2) Min Fibo measures 6 to 8 Candles
2) support formed only AFTER the bounce.
3) Price Level penetration by at least 3% for Broken support or resistance, more significant at 150% volume.
2-line MACD
1) The farther the MACD two lines cross over from 0, the higher possibility the move will be.
Divergence
1) use MACD for intermediate and long term divergence
2) use RSI Wilder for hourly chart divergence indicator
- Does the chart make sense to me?
- Can I make money off this chart?
Trading Daily Routine
1) Only look at the Profit and Loss often when emotion is contained. Else check every 2 hours, 9:00 am, 11:00 am, 1:00 pm and 1 hour before close
2) Enter trades 1 hour before close, AFTER checking the charts, look for high and low of the day compare it with the day before to see if the trend is broken
3) Don't enter a new trade on the SAME DAY after being stopped out, the original analysis must be considered, because it was taken with less emotions.
4) Monitor each position, Has it hit the target, hit the stop
5) Adjust Stop, at the end of day or intra day.
6) Move the stop up to break even point, as soon as the stock moved $2 in the right direction.
- Do something everyday, don't have to trade everyday.
- No body knows what to happen, take advantage from those who think they "know" what will happen, because most likely they are wrong
- Good entry makes good stops
Trading Weekly Routine
1) Check the week ahead for the possible Earnings and Split plays, change of industry
2) Update Trading Journal
3) Run through the entire A-Z watch list to add stocks to Bull and Bear
Trading Monthly Routine
1) delete last month's Bull and Bear watch list
Don't trade in the vaccumn
1) what are the major indices doing
2) what are the major sectors doing
3) what are the major stocks doing
Entry Rules:
1) Candles are only important at Significant support and resistance, don't enter with just Tweezer Bottoms, or engulfing or Harami formations.
2) In line with the market posture, industry, and stock trend
3) NEVER pick the bottom or top, wait for confirmation, use price and volume (as a reference, remember price is king, and the ONLY THING PAYS is PRICE!)
4) If the overall Market Trend is strong, enter intra day, if the overall Market is not strong, need end of day confirmation.
5) look for entries especially when the price retrace to 61.6% (23% in a strong up trend) Fibo, i.e. 38% from the top of last up swing when draw from high to low (see the POT in Dec '07 below)
6) if the stop is too far, you are risking too much, don't enter the trade, wait for a better trade.
7) Ask self: No Fear, No Doubt -or- Overtrade!
Exit Rule:
1) got stop out
2) Sign of Weakness rule
2.1) Bullish trades: NOT the next day, but 2 days after entering the trade, when the price is:
2.1.1) lower low,
2.1.2) closed lower (red candle)
2.2) depending on the daily range of the stock move stop up relative to the low of the day before or 2 days before.
2.3) Move stop up relative to the low when a doji (or harimi) is formed.
2.3) Move stop up relative to the low when a doji (or harimi) is formed.
3) Bullish change the stop to relative to the low on that day when it hits the target.
Note:
1) Fibo supports only works in uptrend
1.1) Fibo for confirmations only, not the trade signals
1.2) Min Fibo measures 6 to 8 Candles
2) support formed only AFTER the bounce.
3) Price Level penetration by at least 3% for Broken support or resistance, more significant at 150% volume.
2-line MACD
1) The farther the MACD two lines cross over from 0, the higher possibility the move will be.
Divergence
1) use MACD for intermediate and long term divergence
2) use RSI Wilder for hourly chart divergence indicator
Good News for the financials!! So they said.
Wow! What an exciting piece of news! GS did not do much or worst it is sinking slowly in the early trading. It hinted to me that this will be another red day.
Daily Chart of GS, H&S and then a descending triangle. Not bullish at all.
Time for me to go fishing until Feb 08 Options appear next Monday.
Monday, December 17, 2007
New Trading Rules
Tweezer Bottoms need confirmation! Falling MACD is no good for Bulls.
After being stopped out in DO and AAPL and I exited POT. The fast moving train of stock market takes no mercy on me. still that is ok. I have preserved my precious little trading capital, my precious King, though a lot of Pawns already scarified.
After being stopped out in DO and AAPL and I exited POT. The fast moving train of stock market takes no mercy on me. still that is ok. I have preserved my precious little trading capital, my precious King, though a lot of Pawns already scarified.
Sorry Honey DO!
Got stopped out today on my DO Calls, lucky me. I lost $0.20 on the options, instead of $1.25 as of now. Here is the chart. Learning to be a market technician, one thing I know, "Price actions discount everything", in fact "Price actions already accounted for everything".
No need to find out the reasons because news is for suckers.
Stopped out also on my AAPL Call, got hit pretty bad on my last 2 APPL trades.
Again, I don't know when happen next.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Good to be right
Having wrong for the impact of interest rate cut on Tuesday and wrong again on the bounce on Wednesday, I was really disappointed. But this is the business that I am planning to get into and at least the results of my decisions almost immediately with the stock market.
This morning I blogged the tweezer bottoms of the DOW and two stocks. I did not have any position in DIA so it doesn't affect me at all, but I do have positions in the other two. and they are working fine.
Good to be right again. And good to be aggressive. With more experience, I am sure will become a great trader.
I'd like to thank my Son for distracting me so I won't get obsessed with the stock market
-and-
I'd like to thank my Wife for her continue support and encouragement.
This morning I blogged the tweezer bottoms of the DOW and two stocks. I did not have any position in DIA so it doesn't affect me at all, but I do have positions in the other two. and they are working fine.
Good to be right again. And good to be aggressive. With more experience, I am sure will become a great trader.
I'd like to thank my Son for distracting me so I won't get obsessed with the stock market
-and-
I'd like to thank my Wife for her continue support and encouragement.
Tweezer Bottoms
The short lived bull runs is over? Market is going to crash, crash and crash soon!
I don't know if these are correct statement. I saw however a few instances of an interesting candle pattern: Tweezer Bottoms. They all happened on Dec 12 and Dec 13 2007.
Dow Industrial
Ticker symbol: DO
Ticker symbol: POT
I am not using the tweezer bottom as defined in the text book. I am using it as a short term bullish entry signal, and especially using the lows of these 2 days as the support level of my stop.
As in peculiar Santa Claus rally does live.
I don't know if these are correct statement. I saw however a few instances of an interesting candle pattern: Tweezer Bottoms. They all happened on Dec 12 and Dec 13 2007.
Dow Industrial
Ticker symbol: DO
Ticker symbol: POT
I am not using the tweezer bottom as defined in the text book. I am using it as a short term bullish entry signal, and especially using the lows of these 2 days as the support level of my stop.
As in peculiar Santa Claus rally does live.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
I am a great trader! Am I?
It was a record day yesterday, I lost $2.50, yes two dollar and fifty cents on my fully loaded Bullish portfolio. Why Bullish, because I got stopped out on all of my bearish trades and could not find any decent entry for the bearish trades, such as my favorite JCP and BA.
Well maybe BA giving a signal later today but I have far more important thing to do, which is to bring my sweet 3 year old to his first dental cleaning visit. I will miss the all important Fed announcement, which won't rock the boat one way or the other, IMOHO.
Well maybe BA giving a signal later today but I have far more important thing to do, which is to bring my sweet 3 year old to his first dental cleaning visit. I will miss the all important Fed announcement, which won't rock the boat one way or the other, IMOHO.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Trip to the memory lane, my lane
I was talking with some friends at lunch about Dairy Queen and we had a fun discussion about how it always in some 2nd tier part of the town and kind of a folksy place, in other words, no so nice. I missed DQ a bit because I used to get my banana malt from the DQ on Welch Ave when I was in Ames, IA.
So after dinner, I brought Markkus to our closest DQ at Park and K. It was EMPTY at 7:00 pm. No jokes. Most Dairy Queens are family own and staffed by the SAME family, unlike Wendy's or MacDonald's it is staffed by amigos.
Back to the ice-cream, I ordered a bowl and a small cone for Markkus. It wasn't entirely bad, but it was just too much. I guess it will take me another couple of years before I crave for Dairy Queen again. Nothing really fancy, seeing the family owns and operates the DQ, it reminded me that many of us are actually struggling to survive everyday.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Dragonfly migratory rule
Weight less than a paper clip, dragonflies can't fly against the wind. How do they migrate? An other informative program from KERA, Fresh Air told the story.
Dragonflies would move on successive cold nights, for example yesterday night's low was 50 degrees and tonight's low is at 40 degree. They will migration with the wind. The reason is that usually successive cold weather is an indication of a cold front moving in and the wind would move move the cold front, therefore as these tiny insects move with the tail wind, they are migrating to to a warmer weather.
I, as a human being, always put too much reasonings into my decisions. Especially I was trained to be analytical. When I was introduced to technical analysis of stock chart, I though I found the holy grail. Instead, I found that to make money, first you have to have money and second, it is a lot of work. I found that it is actually easier and more profitable to be a trend trader, let the tail wind brings me to the warmer places.
Dragonflies would move on successive cold nights, for example yesterday night's low was 50 degrees and tonight's low is at 40 degree. They will migration with the wind. The reason is that usually successive cold weather is an indication of a cold front moving in and the wind would move move the cold front, therefore as these tiny insects move with the tail wind, they are migrating to to a warmer weather.
I, as a human being, always put too much reasonings into my decisions. Especially I was trained to be analytical. When I was introduced to technical analysis of stock chart, I though I found the holy grail. Instead, I found that to make money, first you have to have money and second, it is a lot of work. I found that it is actually easier and more profitable to be a trend trader, let the tail wind brings me to the warmer places.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Nothing runs like a Deere
Keep this is prospective, my winning percentages this month is at 33%. But a big winner carries it all. And DE is the guy.
I got in for the split trade in anticipation that stock usually runs up 7 to 10 days before the actual split.
Entered Nov 26, Jan 170 Call at $5.90, trade did not become profitable for the first two days!
Exit Dec 4, at $12.20 (split adjusted).
Thank you Deere!
Monday, December 3, 2007
My Hero
At the end of our "interactive" stock and option class in Utah last month, that being October 20, 2007. They showed this video to us, the idea was to inspire us not to give up:
I saw it many times and it always brought tears to my eyes. I guess there is a lot of truth into it, when I was a kid, I practiced alone on a dirty basketball court 500 yards from a factory. I never make it to big time basketball fame or anything remotely close, but I know it what is takes to be good.
The detail report from CBS News.
I saw it many times and it always brought tears to my eyes. I guess there is a lot of truth into it, when I was a kid, I practiced alone on a dirty basketball court 500 yards from a factory. I never make it to big time basketball fame or anything remotely close, but I know it what is takes to be good.
The detail report from CBS News.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Daniel Orozco: Orientation
Here is one of my favorite essays this year from Daniel Orozco, I got this from the web, but all rights are resvered to the publisher and Mr. Orozco. So don't sue me, I will be happy to remove it.
Here is the link to get it:
http://nomrad.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/orientation.pdf
For those who prefer an audio version here is one from "This American Life"
Orientation - by Daniel Orozco
Those are the offices and these are the cubicles. That’s my cubicle there, and this isyour cubicle. This is your phone. Never answer your phone. Let the Voicemail System answer it. This is your Voicemail System Manual. There are no personal phone calls allowed.We do, however, allow for emergencies. If you must make an emergency phone call, ask your supervisor first. If you can’t find your supervisor, ask Phillip Spiers, whosits over there. He’ll check with Clarissa Nicks, who sits over there. If you make an emergency phone call without asking, you may be let go.
These are your IN and OUT boxes. All the forms in your IN box must be logged in by thedate shown in the upper left-hand corner, initialed by you in the upper right-hand corner,and distributed to the Processing Analyst whose name is numerically coded in the lower left-hand corner. The lower right-hand corner is left blank. Here’s your Processing Analyst Numerical Code Index. And here’s your Forms Processing Procedures Manual.
You must pace your work. What do I mean? I’m glad you asked that. We pace our work according to the eight-hour workday. If you have twelve hours of work in your IN box, for example, you must compress that work into the eight-hour day. If you have one hour of work in your IN box, you must expand that work to fill the eight-hour day. That was a good question. Feel free to ask questions. Ask too many questions, however, and you may be let go.
That is our receptionist. She is a temp. We go through receptionists here. They quit with alarming frequency. Be polite and civil to the temps. Learn their names, and invite them to lunch occasionally. But don’t get close to them, as it only makes it more difficult when they leave. And they always leave. You can be sure of that.
The men’s room is over there. The women’s room is over there. John LaFountaine, who sits over there, uses the women’s room occasionally. He says it is accidental. We know better, but we let it pass. John LeFountaine is harmless, his forays into the forbidden territory of the women’s room simply a benign thrill, a faint blip on the dull flat line of his life.
Russell Nash, who sits in the cubicle to your left, is in love with Amanda Pierce, who sits in the cubicle to your right. They ride the same bus together after work. For Amanda Pierce, it is just a tedious bus ride made less tedious by the idle nattering of Russell Nash. But for Russell Nash, it is the highlight of his day. It is the highlight of his life. Russell Nash has put on forty pounds, and grows fatter with each passing month, nibbling on chips and cookies while peeking glumly over the partitions at Amanda Pierce, and gorging himself at home on cold pizza and ice cream while watching adult videos on TV.
Amanda Pierce, in the cubicle to your right, has a six-year-old son named Jamie, who is autistic. Her cubicle is plastered from top to bottom with the boy’s crayon artwork - sheet after sheet of precisely drawn concentric circles and ellipses, in black and yellow. She rotates them every other Friday. Be sure to comment on them. Amanda Pierce, who tolerates Russell Nash, is in love with Albert Bosch, whose office is over there. Albert Bosch, who only dimly registers Amanda Pierce’s existence, has eyes only for Ellie Tapper, who sits over there. Ellie Tapper, who hates Albert Bosch, would walk through fire for Curtis Lance. But Curtis Lance hates Ellie Tapper. Isn’t the world a funny place? Not in the ha-ha sense, of course.
Anika Bloom sits in that cubicle. Last year, while reviewing quarterly reports in a meeting with Barry Hacker, Anika Bloom’s left palm began to bleed. She fell into a trance, stared into her hand, and told Barry Hacker when and how his wife would die. We laughed it off. She was, after all, a new employee. But Barry Hacker’s wife is dead. So unless you want to know exactly when and how you’ll die, never talk to Anika Bloom.
Colin Heavey sits in that cubicle over there. He was new once, just like you. We warned him about Anika Bloom. But at last year’s Christmas Potluck, he felt sorry for her when he saw that no one was talking to her. Colin Heavey bought her a drink. He hasn’t been himself since. Colin Heavey is doomed. There’s nothing he can do about it, and we are powerless to help him. Stay away from Colin Heavey. Never give any of your work to him. If he asks to do something, tell him you have to check with me. If he asks again, tell him I haven’t gotten back to you.
This is the Fire Exit. There are several on this floor, and they are marked accordingly. We have a Floor Evacuation Review every three months, and an Escape Route Quiz once a month. We have our Biannual fire Drill twice a year, and our Annual Earthquake Drill once a year. These are precautions only. These things never happen.
For your information, we have a comprehensive health plan. Any catastrophic illness, any unforeseen tragedy is completely covered. All dependents are completely covered.
Larry Bagdikian, who sits over there, has six daughters. If anything were to happen to any of his girls, or to all of them, if all six were to simultaneously fall victim to illness or injury - stricken witha hideous degenerative muscle disease or some rare toxic blood disorder, sprayed with semiautomatic gunfire while on a class field trip, or attacked in their bunk beds by some prowling nocturnal lunatic - if any of this were to pass, Larry’s girls would all be taken care of. Larry Bagdikian would not have to pay one dime. He would have nothing to worry about.
We also have a generous vacation and sick leave policy. We have an excellent disability insurance plan. We have a stable and profitable pension fund. We get group discounts for the symphony, and block seating at the ballpark. We get commuter ticket books for the bridge. We have Direct Deposit. We are all members of Costco.
This is our kitchenette. And this, this is our Mr. Coffee. We have a coffee pool, into which we each pay two dollars a week for coffee, filters, sugar, and CoffeeMate. If you prefer Cremora or half-and-half to CoffeeMate, there is a special pool for three dollars a week. If you prefer Sweet’n Low to sugar, theree is a special pool for two-fifty a week. We do not do decaf. You are allowed to join the coffee pool of your choice, but you are not allowed to touch the Mr. Coffee.
This is the microwave oven. You are allowed to heat food in the microwave oven. You are not, however, allowed to cook food in the microwave oven.
We get one hour for lunch. We also get one fifteen-minute break in the morning, and one fifteen-minute break in the afternoon. Always take your breaks. If you skip a break, it is gone forever. For your information, your break is a privelige, not a right. If you abuse the break policy, we are authorized to rescind your breaks. Lunch, however, is a right, not a privelige. If you abuse the lunch policy, our hands will be tied, and we will be forced to look the other way. We will not enjoy that.
This is the refrigerator. You may put your lunch in it. Barry Hacker, who sits over there, steals food from this refrigerator. His petty theft is an outlet for his grief. Last New Year’s Eve, while kissing his wife, a blood vessel burst in her brain. Barry Hacker’s wife was two months pregnant at the time, and lingered in a coma for half a year before dying. It was a tragic loss for Barry Hacker. He hasn’t been himself since. Barry Hacker’s wife was a beautiful woman. She was also completely covered. Barry Hacker did not have to pay one dime But his dead wife haunts him. She haunts all of us. We have seen her, reflected in the monitors of our computers, moving past our cubicles. We have seen the dim shadow of her face in our photocopies. She pencils herself in in the receptionist’s appointment book, with the notation: To see Barry Hacker. She has left messages in the receptionist’s Voicemail box, messages garbled by the electronic chirrups and buzzes in the phone line, her voice echoing from an immense distance within the ambient hum. But the voice is hers. And beneath the voice, beneath the tidal whoosh of static and hiss, the gurgling and crying of a baby can be heard.
In any case, if you bring a lunch, put a little something extra in the bag for Barry Hacker. We have four Barrys in this office. Isn’t that a coincidence?
This is Matthew Payne’s office. He is our Unit Manager, and his door is always closed. We have never seen him, and you will never see him. But he is there. You can be sure of that. He is all around us.
This is the Custodian’s Closet. You have no business in the Custodian’s Closet. And this, this is our Supplies Cabinet. If you need supplies, see Curtis Lance. He will log you in on the Supplies Cabinet Authorization Log, then give you a Supplies Authorization Slip. Present your pink copy of the Supplies Authorization Slip to Ellie Tapper. She will log you in on the Supplies Cabinet Key Log, then give you the key. Because the Supplies Cabinet is located outside the Unit Manager’s office, you must be very quiet. Gather your supplies quietly. The Supplies Cabinet is divided into four sections. Section One contains letterhead stationery, blank paper and envelopes, memo and note pads, and so on. Section Two contains pens and pencils and typewriter and printer ribbons, and the like. In Section Three we have erasers, correction fluids, transparent tapes, glue sticks, et cetera. And in Section Four we have paper clips and push pins and scissors and razor blades. And here are the spare blades for the shredder. Do not touch the shredder, which is located over there. The shredder is of no concern to you.
Gwendolyn Stich sits in that office there. She is crazy about penguins, and collects penguin knickknacks: penguin posters and coffee mugs and stationery, penguin stuffed animals, penguin jewelry, penguin sweaters and T-shirts and socks. She has a pair of penguin fuzzy slippers she wears when working late at the office. She has a tape cassette of penguin sounds which she listens to for relaxation. Her favorite colors are black and white. She has personalized license plates that read PEN GWEN. Every morning, she passes through all the cubicles to wish each of us a good morning. She brings Danish on Wednesdays for Hump Day morning break, and doughnuts on Fridays for TGIF afternoon break. She organizes the Annual Christmas Potluck, and is in charge of the Birthday List. Gwendolyn Stich’s door is always open to all of us. She will always lend an ear, and put in a good word for you; she will always give you a hand, or the shirt off her back, or a shoulder to cry on. Because her door is always open, she hides and cries in a stall in teh women’s room. And John LaFountaine - who, enthralled when a woman enters, sits quietly in his stall with his knees to his chest - John LaFountaine has heard her vomiting in there. We have come upon Gwendolyn Stich huddled in the stairwell, shivering in the updraft, sipping a Diet Mr. Pibb and hugging her knees. She does not let any of this interfere with her work. If it interfered with her work, she might have to be let go.
Kevin Howard sits in that cubicle over there. He is a serial killer, the one they call the Carpet Cutter, responsible for the mutilations across town. We’re not supposed to know that, so do not let on. Don’t worry. His compulsion inflicts itself on strangers only, and the routine established is elaborate and unwavering. The victim must be a white male, a young adult no older than thirty, heavyset, with dark hair and eyes, and the like. The victim must be chosen at random before sunset, from a public place; the victim is followed home, and must put up a struggle; et cetera. The carnage inflicted is precise: the angle and direction of the incisions; the layering of skin and muscle tissue; the rearrangement of visceral organs; and so on. Kevin Howard does not let any of this interfere with his work. He is, in fact, our fastest typist. He types as if he were on fire. He has a secret crush on Gwendoly Stich, and leaves a red-foil-wrapped Hershey’s Kiss on her desk every afternoon. But he hates Anika Bloom, and keeps well away from her. In his presence, she has non controllable fits of shaking and trembling. Her left palm does not stop
bleeding.
In any case, when Kevin Howard gets caught, act surprised. Say that he seemed like a
nice person, a bit of a loner, perhaps, but always quiet and polite.
This is the photocopier room. And this, this is our view. It faces southwest. West is down there, toward the water. North is back there. Because we are on the seventeenth floor, we are afforded a magnificent view. Isn’t it beautiful? It overlooks the park, where the tops of those trees are. You can see a segment of the bay between those two buildings over there. You can see the sun set in the gap between those two buildings over there. You can see this building reflected in the glass panels of that building across the way. There. See? That’s you, waving. And look there. There’s Anika Bloom in the kitchenette, waving back.
Enjoy this view while photocopying. If you have problems with the photocopier, see
Russell Nash. If you have any questions, ask your supervisor. If you can’t find your supervisor, ask Phillip Spiers. He sits over there. He’ll check with Clarissa Nicks. She sits over there. If you can’t find them, feel free to ask me. That’s my cubicle. I sit in there.
Here is the link to get it:
http://nomrad.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/orientation.pdf
For those who prefer an audio version here is one from "This American Life"
Orientation - by Daniel Orozco
Those are the offices and these are the cubicles. That’s my cubicle there, and this isyour cubicle. This is your phone. Never answer your phone. Let the Voicemail System answer it. This is your Voicemail System Manual. There are no personal phone calls allowed.We do, however, allow for emergencies. If you must make an emergency phone call, ask your supervisor first. If you can’t find your supervisor, ask Phillip Spiers, whosits over there. He’ll check with Clarissa Nicks, who sits over there. If you make an emergency phone call without asking, you may be let go.
These are your IN and OUT boxes. All the forms in your IN box must be logged in by thedate shown in the upper left-hand corner, initialed by you in the upper right-hand corner,and distributed to the Processing Analyst whose name is numerically coded in the lower left-hand corner. The lower right-hand corner is left blank. Here’s your Processing Analyst Numerical Code Index. And here’s your Forms Processing Procedures Manual.
You must pace your work. What do I mean? I’m glad you asked that. We pace our work according to the eight-hour workday. If you have twelve hours of work in your IN box, for example, you must compress that work into the eight-hour day. If you have one hour of work in your IN box, you must expand that work to fill the eight-hour day. That was a good question. Feel free to ask questions. Ask too many questions, however, and you may be let go.
That is our receptionist. She is a temp. We go through receptionists here. They quit with alarming frequency. Be polite and civil to the temps. Learn their names, and invite them to lunch occasionally. But don’t get close to them, as it only makes it more difficult when they leave. And they always leave. You can be sure of that.
The men’s room is over there. The women’s room is over there. John LaFountaine, who sits over there, uses the women’s room occasionally. He says it is accidental. We know better, but we let it pass. John LeFountaine is harmless, his forays into the forbidden territory of the women’s room simply a benign thrill, a faint blip on the dull flat line of his life.
Russell Nash, who sits in the cubicle to your left, is in love with Amanda Pierce, who sits in the cubicle to your right. They ride the same bus together after work. For Amanda Pierce, it is just a tedious bus ride made less tedious by the idle nattering of Russell Nash. But for Russell Nash, it is the highlight of his day. It is the highlight of his life. Russell Nash has put on forty pounds, and grows fatter with each passing month, nibbling on chips and cookies while peeking glumly over the partitions at Amanda Pierce, and gorging himself at home on cold pizza and ice cream while watching adult videos on TV.
Amanda Pierce, in the cubicle to your right, has a six-year-old son named Jamie, who is autistic. Her cubicle is plastered from top to bottom with the boy’s crayon artwork - sheet after sheet of precisely drawn concentric circles and ellipses, in black and yellow. She rotates them every other Friday. Be sure to comment on them. Amanda Pierce, who tolerates Russell Nash, is in love with Albert Bosch, whose office is over there. Albert Bosch, who only dimly registers Amanda Pierce’s existence, has eyes only for Ellie Tapper, who sits over there. Ellie Tapper, who hates Albert Bosch, would walk through fire for Curtis Lance. But Curtis Lance hates Ellie Tapper. Isn’t the world a funny place? Not in the ha-ha sense, of course.
Anika Bloom sits in that cubicle. Last year, while reviewing quarterly reports in a meeting with Barry Hacker, Anika Bloom’s left palm began to bleed. She fell into a trance, stared into her hand, and told Barry Hacker when and how his wife would die. We laughed it off. She was, after all, a new employee. But Barry Hacker’s wife is dead. So unless you want to know exactly when and how you’ll die, never talk to Anika Bloom.
Colin Heavey sits in that cubicle over there. He was new once, just like you. We warned him about Anika Bloom. But at last year’s Christmas Potluck, he felt sorry for her when he saw that no one was talking to her. Colin Heavey bought her a drink. He hasn’t been himself since. Colin Heavey is doomed. There’s nothing he can do about it, and we are powerless to help him. Stay away from Colin Heavey. Never give any of your work to him. If he asks to do something, tell him you have to check with me. If he asks again, tell him I haven’t gotten back to you.
This is the Fire Exit. There are several on this floor, and they are marked accordingly. We have a Floor Evacuation Review every three months, and an Escape Route Quiz once a month. We have our Biannual fire Drill twice a year, and our Annual Earthquake Drill once a year. These are precautions only. These things never happen.
For your information, we have a comprehensive health plan. Any catastrophic illness, any unforeseen tragedy is completely covered. All dependents are completely covered.
Larry Bagdikian, who sits over there, has six daughters. If anything were to happen to any of his girls, or to all of them, if all six were to simultaneously fall victim to illness or injury - stricken witha hideous degenerative muscle disease or some rare toxic blood disorder, sprayed with semiautomatic gunfire while on a class field trip, or attacked in their bunk beds by some prowling nocturnal lunatic - if any of this were to pass, Larry’s girls would all be taken care of. Larry Bagdikian would not have to pay one dime. He would have nothing to worry about.
We also have a generous vacation and sick leave policy. We have an excellent disability insurance plan. We have a stable and profitable pension fund. We get group discounts for the symphony, and block seating at the ballpark. We get commuter ticket books for the bridge. We have Direct Deposit. We are all members of Costco.
This is our kitchenette. And this, this is our Mr. Coffee. We have a coffee pool, into which we each pay two dollars a week for coffee, filters, sugar, and CoffeeMate. If you prefer Cremora or half-and-half to CoffeeMate, there is a special pool for three dollars a week. If you prefer Sweet’n Low to sugar, theree is a special pool for two-fifty a week. We do not do decaf. You are allowed to join the coffee pool of your choice, but you are not allowed to touch the Mr. Coffee.
This is the microwave oven. You are allowed to heat food in the microwave oven. You are not, however, allowed to cook food in the microwave oven.
We get one hour for lunch. We also get one fifteen-minute break in the morning, and one fifteen-minute break in the afternoon. Always take your breaks. If you skip a break, it is gone forever. For your information, your break is a privelige, not a right. If you abuse the break policy, we are authorized to rescind your breaks. Lunch, however, is a right, not a privelige. If you abuse the lunch policy, our hands will be tied, and we will be forced to look the other way. We will not enjoy that.
This is the refrigerator. You may put your lunch in it. Barry Hacker, who sits over there, steals food from this refrigerator. His petty theft is an outlet for his grief. Last New Year’s Eve, while kissing his wife, a blood vessel burst in her brain. Barry Hacker’s wife was two months pregnant at the time, and lingered in a coma for half a year before dying. It was a tragic loss for Barry Hacker. He hasn’t been himself since. Barry Hacker’s wife was a beautiful woman. She was also completely covered. Barry Hacker did not have to pay one dime But his dead wife haunts him. She haunts all of us. We have seen her, reflected in the monitors of our computers, moving past our cubicles. We have seen the dim shadow of her face in our photocopies. She pencils herself in in the receptionist’s appointment book, with the notation: To see Barry Hacker. She has left messages in the receptionist’s Voicemail box, messages garbled by the electronic chirrups and buzzes in the phone line, her voice echoing from an immense distance within the ambient hum. But the voice is hers. And beneath the voice, beneath the tidal whoosh of static and hiss, the gurgling and crying of a baby can be heard.
In any case, if you bring a lunch, put a little something extra in the bag for Barry Hacker. We have four Barrys in this office. Isn’t that a coincidence?
This is Matthew Payne’s office. He is our Unit Manager, and his door is always closed. We have never seen him, and you will never see him. But he is there. You can be sure of that. He is all around us.
This is the Custodian’s Closet. You have no business in the Custodian’s Closet. And this, this is our Supplies Cabinet. If you need supplies, see Curtis Lance. He will log you in on the Supplies Cabinet Authorization Log, then give you a Supplies Authorization Slip. Present your pink copy of the Supplies Authorization Slip to Ellie Tapper. She will log you in on the Supplies Cabinet Key Log, then give you the key. Because the Supplies Cabinet is located outside the Unit Manager’s office, you must be very quiet. Gather your supplies quietly. The Supplies Cabinet is divided into four sections. Section One contains letterhead stationery, blank paper and envelopes, memo and note pads, and so on. Section Two contains pens and pencils and typewriter and printer ribbons, and the like. In Section Three we have erasers, correction fluids, transparent tapes, glue sticks, et cetera. And in Section Four we have paper clips and push pins and scissors and razor blades. And here are the spare blades for the shredder. Do not touch the shredder, which is located over there. The shredder is of no concern to you.
Gwendolyn Stich sits in that office there. She is crazy about penguins, and collects penguin knickknacks: penguin posters and coffee mugs and stationery, penguin stuffed animals, penguin jewelry, penguin sweaters and T-shirts and socks. She has a pair of penguin fuzzy slippers she wears when working late at the office. She has a tape cassette of penguin sounds which she listens to for relaxation. Her favorite colors are black and white. She has personalized license plates that read PEN GWEN. Every morning, she passes through all the cubicles to wish each of us a good morning. She brings Danish on Wednesdays for Hump Day morning break, and doughnuts on Fridays for TGIF afternoon break. She organizes the Annual Christmas Potluck, and is in charge of the Birthday List. Gwendolyn Stich’s door is always open to all of us. She will always lend an ear, and put in a good word for you; she will always give you a hand, or the shirt off her back, or a shoulder to cry on. Because her door is always open, she hides and cries in a stall in teh women’s room. And John LaFountaine - who, enthralled when a woman enters, sits quietly in his stall with his knees to his chest - John LaFountaine has heard her vomiting in there. We have come upon Gwendolyn Stich huddled in the stairwell, shivering in the updraft, sipping a Diet Mr. Pibb and hugging her knees. She does not let any of this interfere with her work. If it interfered with her work, she might have to be let go.
Kevin Howard sits in that cubicle over there. He is a serial killer, the one they call the Carpet Cutter, responsible for the mutilations across town. We’re not supposed to know that, so do not let on. Don’t worry. His compulsion inflicts itself on strangers only, and the routine established is elaborate and unwavering. The victim must be a white male, a young adult no older than thirty, heavyset, with dark hair and eyes, and the like. The victim must be chosen at random before sunset, from a public place; the victim is followed home, and must put up a struggle; et cetera. The carnage inflicted is precise: the angle and direction of the incisions; the layering of skin and muscle tissue; the rearrangement of visceral organs; and so on. Kevin Howard does not let any of this interfere with his work. He is, in fact, our fastest typist. He types as if he were on fire. He has a secret crush on Gwendoly Stich, and leaves a red-foil-wrapped Hershey’s Kiss on her desk every afternoon. But he hates Anika Bloom, and keeps well away from her. In his presence, she has non controllable fits of shaking and trembling. Her left palm does not stop
bleeding.
In any case, when Kevin Howard gets caught, act surprised. Say that he seemed like a
nice person, a bit of a loner, perhaps, but always quiet and polite.
This is the photocopier room. And this, this is our view. It faces southwest. West is down there, toward the water. North is back there. Because we are on the seventeenth floor, we are afforded a magnificent view. Isn’t it beautiful? It overlooks the park, where the tops of those trees are. You can see a segment of the bay between those two buildings over there. You can see the sun set in the gap between those two buildings over there. You can see this building reflected in the glass panels of that building across the way. There. See? That’s you, waving. And look there. There’s Anika Bloom in the kitchenette, waving back.
Enjoy this view while photocopying. If you have problems with the photocopier, see
Russell Nash. If you have any questions, ask your supervisor. If you can’t find your supervisor, ask Phillip Spiers. He sits over there. He’ll check with Clarissa Nicks. She sits over there. If you can’t find them, feel free to ask me. That’s my cubicle. I sit in there.
Clousure, McComb
Haven't really written what happen to my MBA applications. Well as obvious as it is, it is over, I am not going to join the UT class of '09. I am still disappointed for getting a delay rejection, i.e. being put on waiting list and then told that the list is full. Yeah it makes so much sense.
No offense to all the elites at UT, but it works out better for me not going to school full time for the next two years. I would be $80,000 in debt, having a 2nd child in the middle of the semester and not receiving as good medical care as I am now.
My wife would not enjoy life as she is now either, because UT rejected her as well. The math does not add up, she got a 3.9 GPA in CCCC but they counted her grades in Hong Kong as well. Just may as well told us that they are not looking at individual before the computer looked at them and calculate the numbers.
I think UT made the right decision, what can I offer to UT? Nothing, I am not young nor impressionable, I won't work day and night to made the number. And I am making as much as any MBA graduates would.
Anyway for the very few readers out there, my GMAT is 730, undergraduate GPA is 3.93, I had 12 yrs of professional experience and finally my essay depicted a guy who is very upset about the corporate culture and wanted to make some changes to it. At the end I guess it is not to be :).
No offense to all the elites at UT, but it works out better for me not going to school full time for the next two years. I would be $80,000 in debt, having a 2nd child in the middle of the semester and not receiving as good medical care as I am now.
My wife would not enjoy life as she is now either, because UT rejected her as well. The math does not add up, she got a 3.9 GPA in CCCC but they counted her grades in Hong Kong as well. Just may as well told us that they are not looking at individual before the computer looked at them and calculate the numbers.
I think UT made the right decision, what can I offer to UT? Nothing, I am not young nor impressionable, I won't work day and night to made the number. And I am making as much as any MBA graduates would.
Anyway for the very few readers out there, my GMAT is 730, undergraduate GPA is 3.93, I had 12 yrs of professional experience and finally my essay depicted a guy who is very upset about the corporate culture and wanted to make some changes to it. At the end I guess it is not to be :).
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